SPECTRUM SPOTLIGHT: featuring David Albert
As a part of The Answer Inc’s Commitment to de-stigmatizing society’s opinion of persons with Autism & Other Developmental Differences, our Spectrum Spotlight Series was created to shine a light on exceptional Children & Young Adults everywhere - who… in-spite of obvious limitations, are ever committed to living their best life.
This month, we are shining a light on David Albert… a fun loving young man who loves sports, dancing, movies, and people. And in this episode of Spectrum Spotlight - David’s mother Denise - reminds us to: embrace every moment. Things may not always be great, and some days are better than others, but take the small accomplishments and embrace them. She also encourages us to try our best to teach other people how to embrace people with special needs instead of us only teaching our special needs kids to embrace - you know - the world.
ME: Tell me about the early days of David’s journey, beginning with his diagnosis.
DENISE: Well David is 32 years old now and we were given the diagnosis when he was two years old. We went in thinking that he was having asthma attacks. And so when we go in, they realized it was seizures instead of asthma and then that's when we got the diagnosis and everything… and my world just came crashing in at that time.
It was weird… because my family, and people close to me, could see different things, and in hindsight -looking back at his baby pictures - I can see it now, but at that moment, I couldn't see anything.
ME: What were some of the early adjustments that you had to make???
DENISE: So he was two years old at that time, and my oldest child had gotten potty-trained before two so, you know… I’m thinking about how they say boys are slow - but i had to adjust to having a child in diapers until he was five years old.
Also, he didn't do a lot of enunciating and he didn't start really talking til almost five years old because he didn't start really making noises and things until he started to watch Barney - and thank God for that, because a lot of people at that time was hating on Barney, but Barney was a lifesaver for me because that was the show he would watch and sing that song “I love you, you love me.” That's also where his personality started to take form because still today… he is just the sweetest loving person.
We immediately had to change the way we thought about his schooling… finding the right school for him, and finding programs and people to help us or talk to us. That was tough because people didn't want to talk or share because it was a shame to talk about having a child with special needs and everything. So I spent a lot of time just searching. Also, we lived in the city and had to move to the suburbs just so we could get better schooling and/or access to better programs for him.
Another immediate adjustment was the fact that we had to childproof everything up until he was like 5 or 6 years old because he climbed a lot. He climbed on the counters… He would take stuff out of the cabinets… you name it.
ME: What were some of your noteworthy challenges along the way???
DENISE: Well the greatest challenge was always about him not having any friends. His sister would have friends over and then she had issues with people, you know, making fun of him. It was hard on her because her brother was special and people would crack jokes on her because of him. And it was hard on me because I was saddened by the fact that he didn't get to have a normal childhood. And then, it was challenging for the family because you know, he needed more attention and growing up my daughter felt like we gave him more attention, and we gave him more leeway because you know, he was who he was and who he is.
ME: What were some of your noteworthy victories along the way???
DENISE: Well, I thank God that I have a supportive family… everybody embraced David everywhere. At family reunions, people would just take over and give me a break. also, like I said, he didn't learn to go to bathroom until he was 5 years old - So it was great then that the men would jump in to help with that.
Also, I’m very grateful for things like Special Olympics. Swimming was the main sport that he enjoyed, so we went down state about three years in a row to do the swim meets. On a funny note… he did the track and field one year, but he didn't like it because in swimming he always got medals - he always got the gold or the bronze - and when he only got a ribbon… he looked at the ribbon like.
We kind of had to go to several different programs and once he got with the right group… he was able to just be himself. I saw this change in his personality, and in him… and that became his safe haven.
Another victory was when David was 21 he was on the “Ponds List” but they hadn't called him, so he was at home for six months. So there was this program called New Hope and my daughter and I called them to see if I could pay for him to go do something during the day, because I didn't like him just sitting there. The blessing there was that I ended up getting a grant from them. And how that happened was definitely from on high, because while i was waiting for a call from the pond list, this program basically had funds available and they didn't have people to give it to.
When you think about David’s future, what are some of the things you think about???
DENISE: Well, my biggest fear is always, you know, if something happens to me or his father, where will he be? So as i’ve shared, he does have an older sister and she always said that you know, if something happened to us… she would take to take care of him. I looked into some Assisted Living places, and I just don't feel comfortable with them, especially now since you know, the virus and everything, because a lot of those places had breakouts outs this way.
Ultimately, my hope is that he will continue to have a good life. Because right now, even though his father and I are divorced, we take turns… he goes over there when I need a break and vice versa. So you know, we do have a good working relationship when it comes to him and David can say any time… I want to go to my dad's house and I send him over there, and then he'll come back here when he's tired of them.
That he will be able to continue to do the things that he really enjoys… like for every Friday night, there is a virtual dance and then virtual arts and crafts during the week. So just to continue those things and to continue to have interactions with other people… because he loves people.
ME: in closing, what advice would you like to share?
DENISE: The one thing I will share with my other parents is that remember to embrace every moment. Things may not always be great, and some days are better than others, but take the the small accomplishments and embrace them.
The other thing is that we should try our best to teach other people how to embrace people with special needs instead of us teaching our special needs kids to embrace, you know, the world.
I just love my child and I love all special needs kids, children, adults. I've still think of my son a kid, but he's a grown man and if others got the chance to know him… they would find that him and other special needs children are just the most loving people. They are no different from you and I if you just love on them. You know, I feel like my son was not given to me by mistake. I was chosen to be his mother. I think every special needs child was a gift to their parent(s). Some days are hard, but I tell you, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
