SPECTRUM SPOTLIGHT: featuring Jeremiah

As a part of The Answer Inc’s Commitment to de-stigmatizing society’s opinion of persons with Autism & Other Developmental Differences, our Spectrum Spotlight Series was created to shine a light on exceptional Children and Young Adults everywhere - who, in-spite of obvious limitations, are ever committed to living their best life… And, in this episode of Spectrum Spotlight, Jeremiah’s dad reminds us all that, as parents, once we get passed the diagnosis, we have to remind ourselves regularly, that our job is still to help our children become the best version of themselves, whatever that might look like.

As you read his words beIow, our hope is that they will inspire you and your child or young adult, to live your best life.

One of our youngest members of The Answer Inc Family is Jeremiah - a fun and energetic 6 year old, living with Autism. Jeremiah has been living with his father, Christopher Guy, for a little over a year now, and it has not been without it’s challenges. However, Chritopher’s attitude about being a young father raising a son with special needs, is encouraging - to say the least. With only a year under his belt, he took some time to share some of his experience and thoughts about him and Jeremiah’s Autism Journey thus far.

I've been learning that sometimes I have to give him the freedom to explore and find things that work for him. As far as trying different foods and activities, and just allowing him to figure out who he is as opposed to me trying to mold him to be a particular person based off of what he can and can't do.

ME: What are some of the main things you’ve seen as a result???

Well, he's using speaking and interacting with individuals that are not in our household on a regular basis. I'm able to let him go to different places now, like when we go to church, he now goes children's church, and/or he can walk away with someone and not have an episode because I'm not around. He's willing to try more foods, and even though he may not eat everything, he's willing to try more, as opposed to be trying to make him. Also, he's doing different activities that he wasn’t willing to do, when he first got here.

I think the main difference is that I tried to get him into all these different free events, because it was for Autistic kids, but now that I have allowed him to pick and choose what he wanted to do, he has much more freedom just try it out, as opposed to feeling like he has to things, because I was making him.

ME: The Answer Inc prides itself in being a family… which is why our Powerful Parents of Autism is one of our Signature Support Service, because parents are able to share their experiences and really help each. When you think about your day-to-day what what might be something worth sharing - an experience you’ve had or something you’ve seen along the way - that could be beneficial to another parent.

I’ve learned to place greater value on being patient and on repeating myself. Jeremiah teaches me everyday, to be patient and to repeat myself more than could ever want to. I can give Jeremiah the same directive over a course of a five-day period, and I may be like - ok, he received it and got it. But, the very next day, he has no idea what you're talking about. I would be scratching my head like… you did it yesterday - how come you can't do it today?

I’ve learned that even though he may seem to have it, and then the next day have no idea what I'm talking about, through it all, I have to be patient with his journey and know that he's not going to retain everything overnight, And… remind myself that Rome wasn't built in a day - just patient with your child or young adult and know that some days is going to be great, and other days, It's like you start over from square one. But… you can't get frustrated because you'll get burnt out and you won't be beneficial to help them, because you're not in the place you need to be to work with them and help them.

Right, right. I think of two things as you say that most importantly that you know patience is a virtue. Right? Right, and I guess ultimately we have to be reminded of that in different ways, but I also the point that you made a kind of feel like a lot of people are making that same point right now and that you're useless to anyone if you're okay, you know a good that's really good.

ME: When you think about Jeremiah’s tomorrow, what do you think about.

In the short term, I would like to see him go to the bathroom on his own without me having to tell him to. Long term… I'm looking for him just to be self-sufficient where he can do the everyday daily living that we do without even thinking about that - like dress himself to the point where it looks presentable, and not rushed. I would like for him to be able to hold meaningful conversations when needed, so people can truly understand where he's coming from and he can understand his voice when he's trying to express something and just share ideas. That's what I really want to see, and we are working towards.

And as simple as that may sound, I know that it’s possible because he has moments where… it may not be a full paragraph, but he can say certain things.. and for example, when he does tele-therapy with his school, and he’s gone from hating to be in front of a computer to sitting for hours, to even asking the teacher can he have more time for a break… when, he wasn't even saying that a year ago.

ME: Has The Covid-19 Pandemic impacted you most because of how it has disrupted your routine, or because it challenges your ability to fulfill your need for space???

A little bit of both, because our routine has changed to where we can't go certain places do certain things, and then I also need the space for me because I get to my frustration level. Sometimes… because he's doing what a six-year-old supposed to do, you know… when he doesn't do certain things or respond in the way that I feel like he should… I get frustrated like come on now you I know you know how to do this. So when I do find a moment to take that break, I reflect… And then, I can be like okay, I have to work on his timing, and not when I want something done.

Throughout the Pandemic, it’s been tough because we are around each other from the time we get up till the time we go to bed. And i’ve noticed that when i don’t have time for me, and I get worn out or frustrated… and I don't want to take it out on him.

ME: With us coming off of Father's Day and with you raising a young man… I remember talking to some of the other fathers a while back and one of the interesting things that I heard one of the father's say is having to give up on what he had in mind for his son. Do you find yourself, having to go inside yourself, and prepare yourself for anything… or are your ambitions and aspirations for him unencumbered not limited, in spite of his limitations???

So once I found out that he was diagnosed officially with Autism. I was already working in Special Needs education as a teacher. So for me, I didn't have a certain aspiration. I was more like, now that he has a diagnosis, I'm not going to raise my son a certain way. I just looked at it like, okay… now we know what it is, this what I need to do to help him be the best version of himself.

So I never had an outlook on he's going to do this and do that. I used to joke around so he's going to run track because I ran track, but my goal still was whatever my child wants to do - I want to help them do that. So once I found that out, I was like okay… now, these are the steps we got to take to help them be successful and I started doing more research because I never worked with Autistic children just children learning disability - but I just try to educate myself to try to get a better understanding of how to be his best Advocate and Supporter.

ME: Allright, Mr Guy, I appreciate you taking the time and on behalf of The Answer Inc Family, we would like to wish you a happy belated Father’s Day. I AM most certain that your share will serve as an inspiration to many… so than you again.